16th November 2013 17:00
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Today, my fiancĂ©’s best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he’s always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

15th November 2013 17:00
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Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I’m gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

14th November 2013 17:01
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Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a “hamburger with extra swag.” FML

13th November 2013 17:01
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Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I’d drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends’ numbers, as well as to my own. I’d then replied to my own message, saying that I’m not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

12th November 2013 17:01
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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

11th November 2013 18:39
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Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he’s moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn’t want anyone but her. FML

15th September 2012 16:57
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Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

14th September 2012 17:00
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Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn’t take her pet rock seriously. FML

13th September 2012 16:57
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Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, “Technically, I’m cheating with you, not on you.” FML

12th September 2012 16:57
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Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML