8th April 2012 0:53
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Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I’d been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

10th December 2011 23:43
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29th November 2011 4:02
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28th November 2011 20:30
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Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, “Oh my god, just stop it already.” FML

28th November 2011 12:30
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28th November 2011 4:05
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23rd October 2011 1:48
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Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn’t continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML

22nd October 2011 20:59
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Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, “And your mom?” Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, “She still in the same graveyard?” FML